Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Rules I wish we had

I believe I've mentioned I had 3 kids. So I'm like a total expert on running a household. IN My MInd.

Here are some rules I think I should have but do not:

1. Bedtime means lay in your bed quietly until you fall asleep. Period. This never EVER happens here. I'm the worst at bedtime in the world. EVER. It is actually where I fail most as a parent.

2. All food needs to be consumed at a table. I'm even down with some snacks or even meals at the coffee table in the living room as a treat. Right now my 2 year old is running all over the house with a banana. Will I get him to clean up the peels he has scattered? There really is no telling, but it hardly matters because the apple peels he left all over this morning are still in the living room so what's a few banana peels on top of that. I need a dog. To clean this crap up.

3. Boys clean bathrooms. Never in my life have I peed on the floor behind a toilet. Do they not realize that happens? I'm not just talking to the babies here. Men too, what happens in your mind that you see yourself get pee on the seat and think, "Hmm. I'll just leave that." I actually have two theories. A: When a boy starts pottying on their own moms and dads are so happy. We cheer and praise them. Even before good aim sets in. So in part of a kid/man's mind they are hearing their mom cheer for them just for ATTEMPTING to pee in the potty. B: one of the good parts of being a boy is not having to wipe when you pee. If they took a square of paper and wiped the toilet seat or floor would they just be wasting that special no toilet paper power? I don't know. But I clean bathrooms, so what is going on in the minds of these boys had better dang well NOT be, "Erin/Mommy will get that later." Because the idea of that makes me stabby.

4. Times for snacks. I thought schedules were stupid. But getting asked for snacks CONSTANTLY drives me freaking insane. And with 3 of them eating when their bodies tell them to it really is constant. I wish we had 3 meals and 2 snack times and no one expected to eat any other time. Not even running around bananas. (Had oldest kid pick up the peels by the way, 3 kids does have benefits)

5. One cup per person per day. There are 5 of us living here. I wash about 20 cups a day. I'm pretty sure they get a new cup each time they drink a sip of water. Because they want me to spend my whole day washing dishes and toilets.

6. On that note, no layering. No you cannot address the coldness outside by wearing 3 T shirts. You can wear one and a coat like a normal person. You can't wear two pairs of pants, you can wear one warm pair and have slightly cool legs. My children refuse to wear jeans, so they don't have the warmest pants, but that's not my fault is it? Also it's Florida. "Cold" here is like 65 degrees. Just buck up.

Well that's all I can think of right now. Here are some photos to make this post more fun. 
Calvin wanted his pic with "dirt".

Stephen cried for hours over a wasted $.75. Because he never gets anything and who knows when he would have three freaking quarters again. I almost killed him by the way. 

This bird is more photogenic than anyone in my family. Pretend it's me. 

Well maybe Ethan beats the bird. He's pretty stinking photogenic too. 

Brian meeting Mean Joe Green. 


Michelle said...

LOL! Erin, you cracked me up! Do you have your cranky pants on? ;-) You have beautiful feathers, love that bright blue! I love that you captured a photo of the "wasted 75c" for posterity, LOL! Ethan looks like an angel, definitely photogenic (just like you with your beautiful feathers). I have two girls, I am so glad that they sit down to pee. I am also wondering where to find the magical parenting power of "bedtime". My kids are put to bed at the same time every night, same routine, and just about every night I am putting them BACK to bed after I have finally sat down to relax. Argh! I have times for snacks (I'm a mean mummy) because I can't stand being asked for food two seconds after the last meal was finished or two minutes before the next meal is served! Cups - it is not just my kids who use a thousand cups a day, and it is not just my kids that leave them all over the house (I am pretty much the only one-cup-a-day-that-stays-in-the-kitchen family member). My girls don't layer, they just change outfits four times in a day, and then wonder where all their clothes are... sigh! Thanks for giving me a smile, and making me realise I'm not the only mummy who finds these things frustrating. :-)

Molly and Wayne said...

Your bird picture and saying to pretend it's you, totally made my night. So funny

Molly and Wayne said...

Your bird picture and saying to pretend it's you, totally made my night. So funny

Cinda said...

Ha!! I LOVE it! ...especially the toilet part - can't imagine it with 2 more males than I already have here! ...bathroom cleaning after a boy is the WORST!